Have you ever found yourself in a heated debate, passionately defending your point of view, absolutely certain that you are right? Maybe you’ve even walked away from a conversation feeling victorious—like you proved your point beyond all doubt. Yet, despite that "win," something still feels off. Maybe the other person shut down, walked away frustrated, or even stopped engaging with you entirely.
So, what did you really win?
The need to be right is deeply ingrained in us. From childhood, we are taught to seek the right answers in school, follow the correct rules in society, and strive for certainty in our decisions. But what if being right isn’t the ultimate goal? What if life isn’t about choosing between right and wrong, but rather about understanding and expanding?
The world is full of different perspectives, each shaped by individual experiences, beliefs, and conditioning. And if we’re honest with ourselves, what we consider to be "right" is often just the view we’ve been exposed to the most. So, how much of our certainty is truth, and how much of it is just familiarity?
Truth is Perspective
If we really step back and examine it, what we believe to be "right" is often a reflection of the lens through which we see the world. That lens is shaped by our upbringing, culture, education, and personal experiences. What feels like truth to one person might seem completely false to another—not because one is objectively right and the other wrong, but because they are seeing the situation through different eyes.
Imagine two people standing on opposite sides of a number drawn on the ground—one sees a 6, the other sees a 9. Who is right? The answer: both. Each person’s perspective is valid from where they stand. If they spent time arguing about it instead of understanding each other, they would both leave frustrated, missing the opportunity to see the bigger picture.
Truth, in many ways, is not an absolute destination but a fluid and evolving understanding. It shifts as we grow, as we experience life, and as we encounter new perspectives. The very thing you passionately believed five years ago may not be something you stand by today. And that’s okay—it means you’re evolving.
This realization is both freeing and humbling. It allows us to release the rigidity of having to be right and instead embrace the beauty of learning, listening, and expanding our awareness.
The Ego’s Obsession with Rightness
Why do we cling so tightly to being right?
More often than not, it’s because our ego is at play. The ego—our sense of self, our identity—wants to be validated. It thrives on being seen as knowledgeable, competent, and superior. When someone challenges our viewpoint, it can feel like a personal attack, as if we are being questioned, rather than just our opinion.
But here’s the thing: We are not our opinions. We are not our beliefs. Who we are is something much deeper—something vast, expansive, and ever-evolving. The moment we separate our sense of self from the need to be right, we give ourselves permission to grow.
Instead of asking, How can I prove them wrong?, what if we asked, What can I learn from their perspective? This shift doesn’t mean abandoning our own truth, but rather expanding it to include the truths of others. It allows us to move beyond the limitations of ego-driven debates and into the realm of true wisdom.
What If We Focused on Growth Instead of Winning?
What if, instead of trying to be right, we chose to be curious?
Rather than debating just to prove a point, we could approach conversations with the intention to understand. What if we weren’t so focused on "winning" arguments, but instead sought to deepen our awareness, strengthen our connections, and expand our worldview?
Life is not a courtroom where we must argue our case and convince others to take our side. It’s a vast, open conversation—one that invites us to explore, evolve, and see beyond the limits of our own perspective.
This doesn’t mean we can’t have strong beliefs. It doesn’t mean we should avoid conversations or never share our thoughts. But it does mean recognizing that certainty can sometimes be a trap—one that keeps us from growing.
The next time you find yourself in a debate, pause and ask yourself:
・❥・Do I want to be right, or do I want to grow?
That simple question can change everything. It shifts our focus from defending to discovering. It allows us to listen—not just to respond, but to truly hear. And it creates space for the kind of wisdom that goes beyond black-and-white thinking.
Because in the end, the goal isn’t to be right. It’s to be aware, to be open, and to be willing to see life from ever-expanding perspectives.
And that’s a kind of victory far greater than winning any argument.
Let’s not chase rightness—let’s embrace wisdom.
・❥・ SoulZest Team
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